Mr. Peterson is a kind teacher that delivers information short, sweet, and to the point. He is shy about his past and family life. Not a fan of talking, he is very quiet.

He loves all of us. Platonically, of course. Kids often fall asleep in his class, but there is no reason for this at all.

He is currently (not) teaching young children language arts, following in the footsteps of Ms. Woyshner and being equally loved... platonically. ¿Gott Grām-urr?

Recently 'retired' after being accused of making derogatory comments about depression and people who have it, which was reported to guidance multiple times.

Moral Alignment Edit

Lawful Neutral

Quotes Edit

  • "I am best friends with Adele"
  • "Yes Chris"
  • "Yes turn it in"
  • "Not trying to brag but..."
  • "Listen with a quarter of an ear..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "My son is studying Japanese abroad..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Not to name names but..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "This should only take 10 minutes then you are free to work"
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "You're fired."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "I love you guys... platonically."
  • "I don't mean this in a derogatory way..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "In the real world..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Life builds up on itself"
  • "Not trying to sound macho or anything, but..."
  • "I know you guys dislike when I say this but when I was your age..."
  • "Now, I'm not trying to advertise or anything, but..."
  • "And you all know that I am just joking, so don't go telling your parents that Mr. Peterson (third person) told you to do so and so today...
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Not trying to be a knucklehead but..."
  • "I would have done it this way..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "I'm not trying to sound melodramatic..."
  • "I don't want to sound derogatorily but..."
  • "Thanks for a good week"
  • "I don't mean to sound depressing but..."
  • "Wurdz r gud"
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "T.G.I.F."
  • "The thing I hate most is crinkling your water bottle."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Don't let me go off on a tangent..."
  • "As you know..."
  • "The reason I'm showing you this..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Plan for your future!"
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "NEWS FLASH: West Shore Teacher arrested for..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Now your all smart people..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Yes, Tommy, you may go to the bathroom."
  • "I'm just saying consider the military as a career..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "I remember I guy when I was (insert age or school grade, or military rank), they is/has (insert insane monetary amount, a general rated above 3-stars, or IQ level above 160)..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Back when I worked in Europe..."
  • "When I was at West Point..."
  • "Not to say any names (points at student) but he/she shouldn't be doing that"
  • "Now these two girls just wanted to shoot the breeze"
  • "Howdy doody"
  • Slavery was a dark time in our history (no pun intended)"
  • "I think I can do a pretty good impression of Dr Spero" (followed by an extremely cringeworthy impression)
  • "Don't steal paper clips from Hitler"
  • "I'm not gonna talk about my daughter Sabrina, but she will be mentioned"
  • "Holy Manoli"
  • "Dos minutos al fin de clase"
  • "I'm not saying you should...but if you do/were to..."
  • "Now crumple up your paper and throw it" - (9th career class)
  • "You can finish the worksheet at el homo (Peterson spanish for home) ....that sounds wierd..."
  • Nowadays, if Martin Luther King Jr. came to our century and watched a game of football, he would say, *impersonates sassy black woman,, "were all dem' white people at?"
  • Don't go home and say to your parents, "Mr. P said that we should go kill ourselves!" because I didn't. what i said was...
  • We are going to watch a movie today! (If you actually get to the point of turning it on) *narrates the whole thing
  • The stuff that I am teaching you is very valuable information...
  • I know the secret to Bon Jovi's hair style....
    • Walk into classroom and here Roar (Katy Perry) song being played, sees Mr.P singing and dancing along to it in the middle of the room.....passionately
    • Comes to FPS international and goes to the middle-high school dance and hangs around the WS students there. Then Sweet Caroline starts playing and 1min later he has a crowd of teens forming a circle around him cheering
    • No offense, but...
  • For future reference...
  • Depression rates have gone up by like 40% since my time. *laughs* Why is that? It could be about people's state of mind!

Hobbies Edit

  • Giving students an automatic 100% whether or not they turned in (or did) the assignment.
  • Explaining what you will be doing in class that day but taking so long that you never can actually get to it.
  • Hanging out with his good friends Tom Cruise, Adele, and Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Flying F16s
  • Making examples out of students who disrupt him in class and gives negative info of how not to be like him/her/chris
  • Writing speeches for political figures like Bill Clinton while at West Point
  • Explaining how to smuggle drugs into the country, then pointing to the drug free ribbon in the front of the room and saying "Now don't go home and tell your parents that Mr. P. taught you how to get drugs
  • Switching from at least 21 subjects within one hour
  • Leaving a box of slim jims out on a table, then watching someone take it and eat it, then asking them to pay for it and complaining about it to his classes
  • Retelling jokes that are no longer funny (Hump day, Mike mike mike mike mike)

Teaching Subjects Edit

Whenever Mr. P says something that could be viewed as "derogatory" or otherwise questionable, he will imitate a student talking about what he taught and then add "No I didn't." (ONLY ADD THESE EXAMPLES NOT YOUR OPINIONS) In this way he has taught us:

  • Don't forget his son and daughter
  • How to get away from the cops after you rob a bank.
  • How to smoke weed in college
  • How to inject heroin without being detected (in between fingers and toes)
  • Mr. P loves his students... "platonically" of course
  • Jeb Bush is a bad man who wants to destroy schools
  • How to kill someone (rupture the kidney)
  • Why you should join the military
  • How to pick up older chicks (Compliment on their age)
  • And of course, we can't furget dat he is de best gramur techr in de scool
  • why is it a disgrace to see the elderly working at publix
  • how to get fired from publix
  • What Snark did to get into trouble today

Power Hour and the Shenanigans that Occur Edit

Mr. P lets kids spend the entire 49 minutes of Power Hour in his room, every day. The people that inhabit it include:

  • a gaggle of mostly obnoxious freshmen that are louder than the eruption of Krakatoa back in 1883 on their bad days and about the same volume as a shotgun blast right at your ear on their good days
  • a group of slightly quieter sophomores
  • a few girls and some of their boyfriends that sit in the front of the room
  • some of the weird kids

Many a shenanigan has occurred during Power Hour in this room, including a few minuscule fights (~10-20 seconds each), kids' things getting stolen, some of Mr. P's impeccable décor getting broken, legitimate discussions, things getting thrown around, the spraying of fake blood, food touching things it should never touch and being eaten afterwards, the creation of governments, the signing of laws, and major wars being ended. Uno used to be played here all the time. Many of the above shenanigans were thanks to the gaggle of freshmen that are louder than Krakatoa erupting in 1883, especially the ridiculously intense games of Uno. The writer wishes he could make those freshmen a lot better, but he knows that nothing he does will ever solve the issue.